Don't eat Turkey for Thanksgiving!

This is Special Agent Yellow Feather with a very important message. This Thanksgiving we at the T.I.B Headquarters would like to encourage you to not serve Turkey at your "oh-so needed" Thanksgiving dinner. Think of all the other things you could serve! Here are 3 examples. 1: Chicken! What's so good about us Turkeys? I mean sure we're big and fat (and taste good to you vicious humans...), but we're SO UGLY! Have you even seen a Turkey? We got big blue and red lines of flesh running down our chins and backs. Do you really want THAT on your dinner plate? Unless you're a rabid badger, I sure hope not! Chickens however have very little "extra parts" hanging off their cocka-doodle chins so that's one less thing to worry about! They're also easier to catch. But if you don't want to go chicken hunting, did you know that two chickens costs as much as one Turkey AND you get more out of it? It's true! Just ask us Turkeys! We eat them all the time! And not to mention that chickens are so annoying WHY NOT eat them? Shut them up for good! 2: Pasta with butter and salt! Sure, why not? Nothing wrong with an Italian Thanksgiving. Serve it on the side of your plate for easy access while eating the main course on your plate (as long as it's not Turkey.)! Better yet, combine examples one and two: Instead of stuffing a chicken with mushy croutons, stuff it with warm, buttery and salty pasta! Yum-O! 3: Drum roll please............. TOFU! You know, the white blocks of (I think) plant material? Now I know what you're thinking "Eww tofu is disgusting I hate it so nasty no flavor something out of 'Minecraft' KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!", am I right? Of coarse I am! I'm a Turkey! But if you take a Ramen (chinese noodles) chicken flavor seasoning packet and sprinkle it on the "Tofu blocks of taste-bud death": Voila! You got white starched cubed dry chicken flavored blocks of deliciousness! Or if you don't like that, try examples 1 and 2. Or 1.2 . Those are only three things you could eat instead of Turkey this Thanksgiving! You could try yack! Komodo Dragon! Beat salad! (Yucky Yucky! (inside joke) ) Now a reason not to eat Turkeys: WE got feelings too man! Think of all the innocent chicks that you orphan every day! MY Niece is living on the side of a chicken coop because of you humans! NO ONE deserves that kind of torture! Nevermind you probably eat the chicks too. YOU MONSTERS! But don't be afraid to eat chickens. They laugh on their way to the slaughterhouse. But, after all this I've told you, if you still choose to eat Turkeys this Thanksgiving.. Well.. Don't worry.. We have other ways to convince you not to... Haha.. Hahaha.. HAHAHA... HAHAHAHA... AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAH- "Connection to Special Agent Yellow Feather was lost. The End. Hello viewers this is DJ. This blog post was meant to be a Facebook Status, but because I made it so big (what else is new?) she decided to make me put it on my blog. The idea was to think of a funny way to convince people not to eat turkeys for Thanksgiving. I hope you enjoyed it, and have a happy Thanksgiving!

Freaky Friday the letter E - Elves!

Hello once again people of the world! Guess what? Its the return of Freaky Friday because we were too busy on Monday! Last time we left off at D which stood for Dragons. So today were going to be covering the letter E. And sorry, I couldn't help it what with the long pointy shoes, pointy ears, short bodies and jingling hats; today were going to be talking about Elves!

Elves, we all know about them. They were invented by Santa Clause to help him with his toys. Hahaha WRONG! Santa only just adopted them, and they chose to stay. Elves are little people who have been in legends sense the beginning of time. They've been in Greek mythology,  Roman mythology, Native American mythology and so on. Most elf stories are about cute little 2 foot tall people who help you get through stuff you need done. However, there are stories of  elves who lure people into dangerous traps, and from what I've seen, preferably children. Note: Elves and Gnomes are NOT the same thing. Gnomes are ancient "guardians" of forests and apparently old lady's gardens. Elves however do as they please. They'll help you if they feel like it, but they'd much rather annoy you by being mischievous.

There are many different kinds (or races you could call them) of elves. There are snow elves, wood elves, Nimphs which I don't know much about, desert elves, Santas elves, and fire elves. There's probably more but those are the ones I can name. Snow elves, as the name suggests, are found in snowy places. There are two old legends that I can say about snow elves. One is that when they come out at night their dancing and cheering is what causes the Northern Lights. The other one is that blizzards form by snow elves having huge snow ball fights with each other. Personally I like the Northern Lights one more. Wood Elves are probably the ones I know about the most. As the name suggests, they live in densely forested areas. Legend has it that wood elves play a magical song on their flutes to make the trees grow faster, but when a wood elf dies most of the magic it's caused drains away. Might explain why moms plants keep dieng.  Nimphs I really don't know about. I think they're the same as wood elves but have more forest magic, I really don't know. Desert elves are kinda rough. There's an old legend that when a bunch of desert elves get mad at each other horrible sand storms form. And volcano elves, well, they're a little "hot headed".

That's basically my report on Elves. I got the picture from www.Google.com and the info from www.Wikipedia.com and my own memory. The End.
                                                                                 P.S, I really don't know any cryptids that start with F. Mind giving me some Ideas in the comment box?

The 12 Days of Biscmus

This is my creative writing assignment for today editing The 12 Days of Christmas with my dogs name Bisciut in the front. Enjoy.

On the first day of Biscmus my Bisciut gave to me, a bacon scented dog treat.

On the 2nd day of Biscmus my Bisciut gave to me, 2 squeeky toys and a bacon scented dog treat.

On the 3rd day of Biscmus my Bisciut gave to me, 3 red balls, 2 squeeky toys, and a bacon scented dog treat.

On the 4th day of Biscmus my Bisciut gave to me, 4 dog leashes, 3 red balls, 2 squeeky toys, and a bacon scented dog treat.

On the 5th day of Biscmus my Bisciut gave to me,
5 pieces of beef;
4 dog leashes,
3 red balls,
2 squeeky toys,
and a bacon scented dog treat.

On the 6th day of Biscmus my Bisciut gave to me,

6 doggie kisses,
5 pieces of beef;
4 dog leashes,
3 red balls,
2 squeeky toys,
and a bacon scented dog treat.

On the 7th day of Biscmus my Bisciut gave to me,
7 yummy meatballs,
6 doggie kisses,
5 pieces of beef;
4 dog leashes,
3 red balls,
2 squeeky toys,
and a bacon scented dog treat.

On the 8th day of Biscmus my Bisciut gave to me,
8 cat recipes,
7 yummy meatballs,
6 doggie kisses,
5 pieces of beef;
4 dog leashes,
3 red balls,
2 squeeky toys,
and a bacon scented dog treat.

On the 9th day of Biscmuf my Bisciut gave to me,
9 stuffed cats,
8 cat recipes,
7 yummy meatballs,
6 doggie kisses,
5 pieces of beef;
4 dog leashes,
3 red balls,
2 squeeky toys,
and a bacon scented dog treat.

On the 10th day of Biscmus my Bisciut gave to me,

10 blue frisbees,
9 stuffed cats,
8 cat recipes,
7 yummy meatballs,
6 doggie kisses,
5 pieces of beef;
4 dog leashes,
3 red balls,
2 squeeky toys,
and a bacon scented dog treat.

On the 11th day of Biscmus my Bisciut gave to me,
11 clumps of dog hair,
10 blue frisbees,
9 stuffed cats,
8 cat recipes,
7 yummy meatballs,
6 doggie kisses,
5 pieces of beef;
4 dog leashes,
3 red balls,
2 squeeky toys,
and a bacon scented dog treat.

On the 12th day of Biscmus my Bisciut gave to me,
12 cute little puppies,
11 clumps of dog hair,
10 blue frisbees,
9 stuffed cats,
8 cat recipes,
7 yummy meatballs,
6 doggie kisses,
5 copies of Old Yeller;
4 dog leashes,
3 red balls,
2 squeeky toys,
and a bacon scented dog treat.

And a bacon scented dog treat.

And a bacon scented dog treat.


Hope you enjoyed The 12 Days of Biscmus.
The End.