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Friday, March 16, 2012

Freaky Friday: Bigfoot, Americas Primate.

So, welcome back to Freaky Friday. Two week's ago I covered the big meany of Jova, the Ahool. But today I'm going to be covering something I think we've ALL at least heard of. Yup, the big tree hugger of the world (no not smokey the bear, or my mom) Bigfoot!

Bigfoot is one of the most well known cryptids in the entire world. He has many names (I'm not gonna name all of them!) such as: Ts'emekwes, Stiyaha (Sounds like a guy saying stay, YAHA!),
Kwi-Kwiyai, Sasquatch, Florida's Skunk Bear (I've seen him!!!), and Yeti. He's said to be 5-10 ft tall, depending on where it is. All descriptions are usually of a large, muscular ape-like man with a large head,long arms, black eyes, big feet (hence his name) and blackish brown or dark red fur, except for the Yeti, he's usually white.

Bigfoot is said to be usually a calm, friendly, minding-his-own-business kinda creature (I'll be telling you about his meaner cousins later in the alphabet..) however that doesn't mean you should just walk up and say hi! I mean, we're talking about a 500-700 pound fluffy tank here! It's probably best to avoid him, like he does (pretty dang well) with us. There are SOME stories of Bigfoot...killing people, such as this one I'm about to tell you:

Long ago, probably long before you were born, Teddy "Bear Roosevelt" was president of the United States of America. One day, him and his friends went out on a hunting trip when they noticed a horrible smell nearby (one of the only way's to tell if Bigfoot is nearby) but they didn't think much of it. They had probably never even heard of Bigfoot before! So they went on on their hunting trip, then they noticed a loud moan, and it was close. A few moments later a Bigfoot sprung out of the bushes and ran right at one of Teddy's friends! He completely mauled the man to death before someone fired a gun at it, forcing it to run away. Teddy,or someone, described it "About 8 ft tall and dark brown fur."

So, I guess Bigfoot ain't to be completely toyed with after all. Next time you see a big hairy creature walking up to you, you have no food and it's NOT your husband, your best chance is to curle up in a ball. DO NOT RUN, a Bigfoot is like a bear, they are much faster then they look.

Bigfoot is said to be omnivorous, meaning he feeds on plants and meat. Cryptozoologists know he might feed on root's, herbs,and berries. What meat he eats is not completely known. Squirrels? Birds? Chicken nuggets with Ronald Mc. Donald? (See up top.) We may never know.

Bigfoot sightings have been seen all over the globe, except Antartica, and has become a world wide phenomenon over the past few decades. Bigfoot use to be an actual species you know! Known as Gigantopithecus, it was the largest species of ape ever to walk the Earth. They all used to live in Asia, but the Russian's possibly hunted them to near extinction, so some headed towards the mountains (Possibly giving rise to the legend of the Yeti) and some were said to cross the land bridge that separates Alaska from Russia, then making their way down into the not-yet-found United States. It is possible they went into hiding here because the Indian's also hunted them. So they retreated to the woods, giving rise to the calm Bigfoot, and the highly aggressive Southern Sasquatch, which is said to attack and kill people for no reason. Maybe that's what Teddy Roosevelt saw...

That's my report on Bigfoot, Americas Primate. I got the info from and my own info, and the pictures from Next week I will be covering the letter C.
The End.


  1. I loved this one, Buddy. I love when you add a little humor to your posts. One reminder when a noun is a proper noun, you have to capitalize it, like Smokey the Bear and Mom. Great job!

  2. i always love your write up DJ, you always have that sense of humor and wit that really is entertaining to read.

  3. This is funny and educational all at the same time! I didn't know they were a real species! I enjoyed the story about Teddy Roosevelt.

  4. Jacob says that is a pretty good story, DJ.